To my unmarried & childless girlfriends

Let me start by saying that I miss you…a lot. I miss your presence in my life. Don’t take my lack of time to respond to your texts as me not wanting to include you into my world. The truth is, I want more of you in my life…but I have my hands full over here. I thought it was time I explain myself.

I remember those days all too well…no real responsibilities other than being at work on time, trying to get a full meal in every day and getting to the gym every once and a while. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not dumbing down your current life. It’s similar to that moment that you look back to high school and think ‘gosh, remember when we thought our biggest problems was what we were going to wear to the high school dance? Or what boy we were going to date that week’? This is pretty much how I feel looking back to my pre-baby pre-married life days. I get it, girlfriend. You can come and go as you please, you really don’t have accountability to anyone other than yourself and truthfully, there will be no real consequences if you just do as you please for 24 hours with no other care in the world. I would love nothing more than to jump on that ship with you, drink lattes all day, spend hours just wandering around the mall for fun and getting back to that side kick role I played so well for so many years. I would love to ‘go grab drinks’ at 9 pm downtown every second Friday…but if we’re throwing it all out there, by 9pm on some nights, my husband doesn’t even stand a chance at having any fun with me, let alone my girlfriends. The only way I can sum all of this up is that being a momma is serious business. It’s not that I don’t WANT to see you, it’s that I truthfully don’t have an extra hour in the day to fit you in…that sounds rude, but I promise you it’s not. Let me tell you how much I appreciate you…stay with me.

The day I got engaged, I learnt more about my group of close girlfriends than I could have ever imagined. Planning a wedding and getting married taught me even more. By the time I had gotten pregnant and had thrown a baby into the mix…I had cut my friend list down to ¼. So YOU…dear friend, I appreciate you. More than you know. I appreciate that you’ve stuck around for the ride of MY life, even though it wasn’t the ride of yours. I appreciate that you stuck beside me even when I was ginormous and hormonal and then when I was zombie-like for 4 months straight. I appreciate you trying to get me out of house, even though you had no idea that it was impossible for me to do so. And those little things you do for my little boy, those little texts you send to see how HE is doing and that you miss HIM? They make my heart turn to mush more than you know. Thank you for showering him with your love and being a great Auntie or Uncle. It makes me love you and our friendship 100 times more than you can imagine.

So, the truth? The questions you’ve wanted to ask, the times you’ve tried to drag me out of the house…’it’ll be good for you’…and the times you’ve shaken your head in disbelief of what my life consists of now. I can see it in your face, I can hear it in your voice. You’re wondering. The answer is no. No, dear friend, I wouldn’t change it. Not for everything or anything. I adore this new life of mine. Maybe it doesn’t always seem peachy keen…it wasn’t my life dream to run around after a snotty toddler, fighting to wipe his nose (legitimately what I just did as typing this sentence) but the look on that kids face as he fake sneezes to make his momma laugh at 8:30am after the nose wipe…be still my heart. No, my hubby and I aren’t ‘what we used to be’; in fact, I have no idea if we will ever be that again. But I do know that I love that man more than anything in the world, and I know neither one of us are going anywhere. I miss the simplicity, but I don’t miss my “old life”. My old life, though it’s filled with adventurous memories and nights out we will never forget, or maybe never remember, but it also seems so meaningless now; so selfish, so purposeless. How do I balance it all? Work, mom life, being a good wife, and owning a business? I just do…barely, but I do. I love you for trying to protect me from taking on too much, I love that you care enough to check in on my mental state to make sure I haven’t quite hit the unhealthy level of insanity. Truth is, girlfriend, we both have just as many hours in a day as Beyonce, we just fill it with different things.

So, stick with me, please. A few more years. When I don’t find the time to reply back to your text in a quick manner, remember this post. I do love you, I really do. I promise I’ll be back, one day! And I promise to stick with you when it’s your turn, I won’t turn my back. I’ll bring you out for mental break nights, I’ll listen as you vent about your child’s poor sleeping habits, I’ll hold your hand when you cry about marriage frustration and I’ll be the best Auntie to your own little babe (s)…I promise! I haven’t forgotten about you and my appreciate runs deep.

And just like that, there’s a sweet little boy throwing muffin on my nice clean rug…purposely…gotta go!

♡ don’t forget about me, I’ve still got it, it’s just hidden beneath my new mommy and wifey cape!